Thursday, March 1, 2012

Kuki abasore bamwe bahitamo gukundana n’abagore babaruta cyane

Kimwe no mu bihe byashize, muri iki gihe hagaragara ikibazo cy’abasore bakiri bato bakundana n’abagore bakuze, ndetse rimwe na rimwe banababyaye. Ibyo bishyigikirwa na bake, ariko n’ababikora hari icyo babitekerezaho.

Aha wakwibaza uti "ese ni iki cyatera umusore gukundana n’umugore umuruta kure? Inyungu ibamo ni iyihe?" Nibyo ndibwibandeho hano, nifashishije ibyo nabwiwe n’ababikora.

Mu basore baganiriye na igihe.com babashije gutangaza ko hari impamvu nke ariko zumvikana zituma bikundanira n’abagore bakuze, mu gihe baba bafite amahirwe imbere y’inkumi bari mu kigero kimwe...Zimwe mu mpamvu bambwiye harimo:

1. Abagore ntibiraza i Nyanza

Ubundi kimwe mu bibazo abasore bahura nabyo ni ukutamenya icyo umukobwa atekereza. Umukobwa ashobora kuba agukunda yarashize rwose, ariko akaruma gihwa, agashiriramo imbere ntabikubwire. Uretse ko hari uburyo wakoresha ukamenya niba umukobwa akwemera (nzabigarukaho mu yindi nkuru), ubwo buryo ntiwabwizera kuko ushobora kugirango arakwemera wagerayo ukahahurira n’imbwa ihetse indobo.

Ikibazo cyo kutamenya icyo umukobwa atekereza cyangwa uko kwiraza i Nyanza ntikugaragara ku bagore bakuze, kuko iyo akunze umusore arabimubwira nta guca ku ruhande. Ibi byorohereza umuhungu cyane kuko nta mbaraga nyinshi bimusaba, ngo abanze yibaze ngo “ese buriya nimubwira ngo nzamusure ntabyanga?" Iki kibazo ntikibaho kuko uwo mugore niwe ukubwira ngo umusure, niwe ukwereka aho mujya, ni nawe ukwereka icyo gukora...

Umwe muri abo basore ati "iyo uri kumwe n’umukobwa, hari uburyo yitwara ashaka kukwereka nk’aho ari isugi cyangwa nta kintu azi na kimwe. Musore, ibi nta mugore ubyikoresha kuko we aba afite experience kandi nta masoni aba akigirisha, ahubwo ugasanga akwigishije n’udushya utari uzi…”

2. Agufasha muri byinshi

Ikindi abasore batinya ni ugukurwa amenyo, aho abakobwa babaka amafaranga ntibabasigire n’urwara rwo kwishima…N’ubwo abasore benshi babyitwaza bakanabikabiriza, icyo kibazo kibaho kandi iyo umusore akundanye n’umugore ntikigaragara.

Umusore ukundana n’umugore mukuru nta kibazo cy’ubukungu agira kuko akenshi uwo mugore aba yifashije, ugasanga ahubwo niwe uba amwitayeho (sugar mummy).

Hari ingero nyinshi z’abasore bakundana n’abagore bakuze ugasanga barahakiriye rwose bakagurirwa imyambaro, bakarihirwa amashuri, amamodoka y’ibitonore bakayuahabwa bagakungahara.

3. Nta kindi aba agutegerejeho

Iyo ukundanye n’umukobwa hari igihe akomeza ibintu akaba yanatangira kuzana ibyo kubana kandi umuhungu atabyiteguye. Ibyo ntibiba ku bagore bakuze, kuko nta kindi aba agutegerejeho. Ikindi ni uko bamwe baba baracuze batakibyara (bari muri menopause) ku buryo nta bwoba bwo gutera inda buba buhari, kandi hari abaziterwa bakazibyara nta kibazo kuko n’ubundi baba basanzwe ari abagore...

Impamvu ni nyinshi pe! Hari n’abandi bambwiriye mu migani, ngo inkono ishaje niyo iryoshya imboga, n’ibindi ntumvise neza...

Nyuma yo kuvuga bimwe mu byo abo basore batubwiye bakura mu mubano wabo n’abo bagore, sinarangiza ntavuze mu ngaruka mbi zibamo, dore ko zo zirenze igipimo. Gusa ndakoresha ibibazo umusore uri muri relationship nk’iyo yagakwiye kwibaza:

*Burya uzirinde gukora ikintu wumva abandi batagukorera: niba uri umusore w’imyaka 21 ukaba ukundana n’umugore w’imyaka 35 cyangwa irenze, urumva uramutse ufite uwawe agakundana n’agasore wabifata ute? Ese niba nta mugabo afite, ariko akaba afite abana mungana, urumva umubyeyi wawe we akundanye n’umusore mungana wabifata ute? Ese ugirango uwo mugore we yakwemera ko umwana we akundana n’umuntu umuruta? Uzamubaze icyo kibazo wumve icyo agusubiza…

*Niba se nta mama wawe ufite, wumva iyo aba akiriho wari kwishimira ko akundana n’umusore mugenzi wawe? Wari kubifata ute?

*Ubundi iyo umuntu akora igikorwa cyose haba hari impamvu. Impamvu wakundana n’umuntu ukuruta ni iyihe? Ese irafatika? Ese bikumarira iki mu kubaka ubuzima bwawe? (wasanga gihari…)

*Muri ibyo wahabwa n’uwo mugore, hari na kimwe kiruta ubuzima bwawe? Hari urukingo rwa SIDA rurimo? Cyangwa ahubwo harimo akaga?

*Nujya ukora ibintu wiherereye ujye wibaza uti “ese ibi nkoze nabivuga no mu ruhame?” Ese koko urwo rukundo rw’ibanga ushobora kurwigamba nk’igikorwa cyiza imbere y’abazagukomokaho, cyangwa wumva inkomanga ku mutima?

Ngibyo bimwe mu bibazo umusore ukundana n’umugore umuruta yakwibaza, igisubizo kiri mu mutima wa buri wese, ushobora no kucyandika munsi y’iyi nkuru mu burenganzira busesuye!

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